I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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