i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize