Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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