we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize