I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize