my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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