what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
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She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
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I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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