So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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