You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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