At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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