you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize