It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize