a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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