That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize