after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
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Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
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sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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