strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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