I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize