Sry I called you an 8
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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