You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize