I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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