I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize