Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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