70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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