if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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