i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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