So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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