The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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