so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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