Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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