No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
last night I used snow as a chaser
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