You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
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No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
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No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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