By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize