yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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