On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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