U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize