he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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