"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize