I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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