How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
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I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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