Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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