Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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