good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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