were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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