Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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