i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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