anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize