where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
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