Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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