i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
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One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
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Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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