just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
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The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
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Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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